5 Lessons I Have Learned During Hard Times

5 lessons i have learned during tough times
Turn your wounds into wisdom.
— Oprah Winfrey

I often hear people say that life isn’t easy or that people can’t be counted on and bad things always happen to the good ones. Even though life can throw us on its erratic roller coaster I prefer to think that it is there to shape us into individuals that will not only benefit ourselves, but everyone on our path.


I have found that it’s easy to blame the people in our past when things don’t go our way way. With that, we unknowingly give our power away instead of taking responsibility and finding the golden nugget in our experience.


God knows I have taken the trip to hell a few times. “Why me?” “Not again.” “I’m a good person.” I used all the recycled excuses going around, but what I wasn’t catching was what was trying to come through for me in the moments of despair.


When no one was available to ‘hold my hand’ I could either be upset or look deeper and learn something from it. It’s in those moments that I realized I absolutely had everything inside me to deal with the challenges. And you do too. Everything happening in our lives are there to unlock gifts and treasures we don’t yet know exist, but it took me a journey of discovering my true self to discover that.

t lessons i have learned during tough times

Below are but a few things I learned when I thought my world was collapsing.


1.  It is never as bad as we think


When we are facing adversity, often times we make a problem bigger than it is by inviting fear-based gremlins into our heads. When we invite fear to live in our minds it makes sure to bring its closest friends too: worry, anxiety and panic. 


These gremlins are a waste of energy and don’t serve any cause. They weigh us down and carry no certainty for the future outcome. As humans, we have vast imaginations and these visitors only cause us to use our creativity for destruction instead of using it to create a desired outcome.


Instead, focus on what you can do now, not what is a future we have yet not seen. You are your strongest in the present moment because it is where all your power lies.


2.  We are not our circumstances


Our circumstances do not define who we are. They are merely a reflection of our choices, not our essence. It’s important not to base our self-worth on what is happening in our external world.


We came here to experience an array of emotions, experiences, friendships, love and joy – all to discover our full potentiality. And with that our circumstances are ever-changing but our value and essence should not fluctuate in response to this scale.


3.  There is more of what’s going right than there is wrong


Look around. When nothing matters anymore and things seem dreary, there are at least 10 things better going on than the problem at hand. It could be that we have a meal on our plate every few hours. We could have a job that keeps us going. Our health may be impeccable even though John or Jill decided to break up with us. There is always something to be deeply thankful for.


By focusing on the things we already have in times of trouble we train ourselves to have a strong mind-set. Our minds go where we tell it to go and a good place to start training it is in looking for the good in our surroundings. Once we do this we habitually, it becomes second nature.


4.  We know more than we think we do


When times get hard, I get quiet. Getting still and tapping into that place inside us not only calms us, but it makes our next step very clear because we are connected to everything. Some call this meditation. Others call it soul seeking. I call it being tuned it.


I ask why the challenge showed up and what it is there to teach me. And then I listen. This is often the hardest part. Hardship causes us to really go deep and search for those solutions we may otherwise not have been interested learning.


Be alone. Get quiet. Minimize any distractions. Close your eyes and ask. And then be open for an answer. By learning to ask for guidance we open up to the possibility for deeper knowledge. Chances are we already know what to do or the answer will come in the quiet moments when we are heart-storming.  


That said, we can never truly be alone and therefore, will always know more than we think we do.


5. We must love ourselves during the difficult times too


It’s easy to forget our strength sometimes and often the battle is within us, but during this stressful time it’s important to have even more compassion and kindness toward ourselves. The mere fact that we exist says that we are worthy of love, and loving ourselves simply means being a friend to ourselves no matter what life looks like.


Keeping a healthy mind-set is also a form of self-love and it is equally important we don’t neglect our body’s needs. Some things we could include are reading a book we enjoy, treating ourselves to a long bubble bath or starting a feel-good journal. Learn to focus on your strengths and what is positive.


Our body loves to move. Do some yoga or go for a walk, even if it’s only 15 minutes a day. It releases happy hormones and reduces stress. Get a massage. Not only is it a relaxing treat but it moves energy that is stuck in the body. Recognize what feels good for you and do that.


And lastly:


There will always be another challenge. It’s part of the dance. Embrace it. Once we learn to embrace the challenges we start to live life with anticipation and know that when another challenge arises we have past defeats under our belt. 


Experience alone is an indicator that we are more than equipped to deal with anything that comes our way. 


With love,


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